Inching my way closer....

Okay folks, it's time for me to share some good news.  A lot has happened in the past two months since my last blog (ooops, sorry I've been lazy I guess), but I am going to focus on this past week.  Those of you who have facebook know a little about the progress I've made towards getting hired at the Denver Zoo.  I just wanted to share some of the networking opportunities I've had recently so you all can think lots and lots of wonderful thoughts for me.

First, on Tuesday I had the pleasure of re-meeting the Curator of Primates and Carnivores, and (meeting for the first time) the Carnivore Supervisor.  The face to face was encouraged by one the the keepers that I have met during my time as a Keeper Assistant in the bear area.  It was a positive experience that left me feeling very good about my chances of being hired.  Both these individuals are very nice people, and they gave me a few minutes to discuss my background and then asked me a few questions.  The carnivore supervisor said he would "flag my resume for review" and the curator promised she would pull out the notes from my previous interview to look over. 

Today I went to the zoo for volunteer training for the new Asian Tropics exhibit that is slated to open next spring.  We did a couple hours in a classroom setting then were allowed a behind the scenes look at animal holding areas and the exhibits.  (If you don't know much about the new exhibit, check it out at

http://www.denverzoo.org/at/).  It was AMAZING!!  This project is absolutely incredible, and it is going to really put the Denver Zoo "on the map" as they say.  Not only will this be the only holding facility in the US  able to hold multiple bull elephants, but it is a completely state of the art, innovative design and it's 10 acres!!  While in the new elephant building, I noticed a man that I thought may be the Curator of Asian Tropics, that I have heard a lot about.  (I also know he has asked about me through some of the carnivore keepers).  I introduced myself, and he was more than willing to talk with me.  He even went as far as walking me through the rhino/tapir building, which was in fact blocked off to the other volunteers.  He chatted with me about the logistics of the exhibit, including which animals were coming, when things would be ready to go, etc.  I asked him about some of the building features, and he was happy to show me a few things.  The rhino/tapir and the elephant buildings are a zookeepers DREAM!!  We are talking HUGE stalls, fully hydrolic doors that work on a TOUCH SCREEN system, hoses that reel themselves in, multiple squeezes and built in scales, etc etc etc.  I was practically drooling.  (Yah, yah, some of you have no idea, but my keeper friends understand!)

Anyway, all in all I know that things are finally moving forward for me.  I have had quite a few staff members acknowledge how competitive it is to get into Denver, but most are very encouraging and keep telling me to be persistent.  I have no idea what the time table looks like, but I have waited this long, and I know I can wait longer if needed.  At least now I can say that I have met several hiring managers, and things are looking promising.  I can go to work at the vet hospital and think to myself, "Not much longer here, I can do it."  And the thought of being back in the zoo after a long year is really comforting. 

One day at a time

So many of you know that last week Paul's Grandfather, Ken Cooper, passed away.  Paul received a phone call from his mother early Thursday morning.  He called her back during his break, and then called me at work around 10am.  When I got his voice mail I could tell something was seriously wrong, and I immediately returned his call.  When he told me the news, I dropped.  Literally, in the back room at the hospital.  Shit!!  It's just not fair.  Ken was an amazing man, not just as a husband, father, or grandfather, but someone who just LISTENED when you needed to talk.  He never judged me, or told me what to do, he just sat with me and let me talk when I needed.  He would tell me stories of Paul's mom and siblings growing up, and of he and Paul's grandmother when they were younger.  I cherish those times spent on the back porch, just enjoying each others company. 

                This is one of my favorite family shots with Ken.  That smile is how I will remember him.

Paul and I left work on Thursday and headed up to Fort Collins with kids in tow to be with the Brown family.  There is never a "right" thing to do in these situations, but we wanted to be present to help with whatever needed.  And we knew that Paul's mom would appreciate having her grandchildren around.  If nothing else, our children certainly do know how to brighten someone's day.  Things intensified when Paul's sister called to say that she was having contractions.  Miss Kodi was getting ready to arrive.  So we headed to Jennifer's house.  We spent the day together, hanging out at the apartment, taking the kids to the park, and just showing support for Jennifer.  Her contractions continued into Friday.  I had to head back to Denver to go to work, but was kept updated of the excitement.  Miss Kodi Rahnae was born on August 5th at 5:11pm.  She was 6lbs 15oz and 20 and 3/4" long, with plenty of dark hair. 

On Saturday I returned to Fort Collins to be with the family and meet my niece.  What a treasure!!  Kodi is absolutley beautiful.  And her parents, Zach and JB have lots to be happy about.  Kaedence is going to be a great big sister, I can tell.  Jocey and Ben were pretty excited as well about their new cousin.  Thinking about my own cousins, I feel so grateful that our kids have the chance to be close with their cousins, and have that chance to know them other than through photographs.  This is one of the many reasons Colorado is where we belong.

                                                                  Miss Kodi Rahnae

This past week has been pretty crazy.  Paul and his parents left on Sunday to head to OK for Ken's funeral.  Paul returned last night while I was working a late shift.  I work late again tonight, which means I have had very little time with my husband.  It's all short term though, and that's what matters.  Life will move on, and this week will just be a memory soon. 

In the meantime, I am trying hard to get daycare for Jocey and school for Ben all under control.  Ben's first day is the 22nd.  We have to go get school supplies, and take him shopping for clothes.  Jocey will be attending an in home daycare up the street from Ben's school, and Ben will be doing BASE camp for after school care.  Lots of changes about to happen, but I am feeling like they will be good ones, and certainly pretty exciting for Mister Benjamin. 

That's it for now.... until next time.  Take care!

A change of plans?

Struggling to stay positive....

Haven't heard from the zoo in regards to my most recent application.  What is the deal?  How come they can't realize that I would be a great keeper?  That I AM a great keeper? How many other people are applying, and how are they beating me to the top?  I just had a bit of a breakdown in front of Paul.  I don't think he knows what to tell me.  I know he feels bad- I left Texas not because I was ready, but because he couldn't stand it any longer.  I had an amazing job w/ amazing animals and people working alongside me who believed in the same things as me.  I missed my family, but everyday I left work feeling accomplished and loving what I do. 

Now I work at a vet hospital.  I work up front, dealing w/ people not animals.  Sure, I get to interact w/ cats and dogs, and feel good that I am part of a team that helps them recover from sickness, or prevent it from happening in the future.  And a lot of the people I work w/ are smart, and fun, and really enjoy what they are doing.  Me?  I am in the in between stage.  I used to have a great job, hoping to have it again, but right now just earning a paycheck.  SOMETHING has to give.  And believe me, I am not proud of the self pity I am projecting right now.  But I am ANGRY. 

So what now?  Do I back down, stop applying, give up?  Is it even "giving up", or is it maybe just realizing that I need to adjust my goals?  I'm not sure.  All I know is that I am ready for something more.  And I am tired of being rejected.  I really thought persistence was going to win.  A year later, I am wondering how long I can keep this up without heading a different direction just to keep some sanity. 

Okay, I am stopping the vent now.  If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions, I welcome them.  Even if you want to tell me to suck it up, I would appreciate some outside views....

Daddy Tells Jo a Story

Last night the kids had a friend spend the night.  They were playing downstairs and when I went to check on them, and found Jo putting something small up one of her nostrils.  Looking closely, I realized it was a coffee bean.  Now, obviously my motherly duty compelled me to tell her not to put anything up her nose.  But I knew this wasn't my forte, if you will, so I took Jo's hand and walked her upstairs.  I led her into the office, where Paul was reading his magazine. 
"I would like you to tell your daughter a story," I requested.  "One about putting objects up your nose."
I walked away and let Paul take over.  This is one subject Paul has experience with, and he dealt with it in all seriousness.  He told Jo about his own experience, putting a raisen up his nose when he was about 4 or 5.  Well, the raisen expanded, and Paul ended up in the ER to get it removed.
"It was VERY ouchy," Paul explained.
"VERY?" Jocey asked, uncertain.
"Yes.  You don't EVER want to put anything up your nose, trust me," Paul replied.
Meanwhile, I was in the living room, trying not to giggle.  Don't get me wrong, I realize that it really is a  serious topic, but I was very amused with Paul's story.  If he only knew that when he was a father, his experience would be relayed to another curious little one who was wondering what would happen if this little object goes up my nose...

A hard job?

Some people have asked me how I do my job.  Is it depressing?  Is it hard to watch so many pets die?  How do you do it?  To be honest I am pretty good at looking past the sadness, and realizing that this is a job that needs to be done.  Someone has to be there to help pet owners make the decision to say good bye, and I get to be the one to tie up the loose ends.  Yeah, it sucks sometimes.  Last week I came in and after only an hour I had seen three euthanasias.  Some days are just like that. Other days I get to say hello to energetic puppies with smiling owners that are looking forward to a bright future for their pet. There is an end to every beginning I guess.

I will say that when it comes time for my pets' time to go, that I hope it happens without a struggle; a peaceful ending.  That's what I really have a hard time with- when an owner comes in with a sick pet, does everything they can to help us help them, but to no avail.  Part of it is a financial burden of course- it is awful to spend $2000 trying to get your loved cat or dog back to feeling good without result.  But the emotional toll is worse.  Tonight my shift ended with two such cases.  Right before these two sad endings, I watched a family say good bye to a 12 year old lab with teary eyes.  Tonight I was definitely wiping my own eyes discreetly.

The positive of all of this is that every time I come home from a shift at the hospital, I hug my three babies tightly and am grateful for their good health.  Tinkerbell, Griffin and Faiga won't always be around, and I am going to enjoy every day I get to spend with them. 

Career

Quick update on the career front...

I have been at the veterinary hospital for three months now.  I am finding my groove, and seem to be getting along with most everyone.  I am learning a lot about wellness care for kitties and doggies, and have seen some pretty ugly emergency cases too.  My hours seem to be all over- I work regular day shifts, late shifts, and an early shift here and there. 

While I am grateful for the paycheck, I am hoping that this is not long term.  Not that I dislike my job, but I would be happier at the zoo.  On that front- I have been volunteering as a keeper assistant for awhile now.  My area includes mongoose, dik-dik, porcupine, cranes, bears, coatis and various sheep.  I do some cleaning in the barn and then help with diets.  There isn't any animal contact, though I do get to converse with the mongoose while I am in that barn. 

Denver just recently opened a position for a Large Mammal Keeper.  I have updated my resume and submitted my application.  I contacted my peeps at Cameron Park Zoo, who have agreed to send letters of rec on my behalf.  I am hoping that the keepers I have met so far might say a word to the curator.  They don't know me very well yet, but it certainly wouldn't hurt. 

In the meantime, I will just keep plugging away.  I will go to work with a smile on my face, because my goal is still within reach, and as they say- good things come to those who wait!!

Maggie

Things I admire in others

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1W3DI1/demandingjoy.com/%253Fp%253D1027

So to ease me back into the blog world again I have decided to revisit "50 lists to write to lift your spirits".  I find that writing lists is almost cleansing.  Makes me feel like I am putting things in order, and sometimes I need that in this busy life of mine.  So...

Things I admire in others:

1. PASSION.  Who are you if you are not passionate about SOMETHING?  I don't care if it's cars or animals or riding a bike or gardening.  I always envy people who believe so strongly in something that they stop at nothing to be a part of it.
2. TOLERANCE.  Sometimes I need to work on this trait more than I'd like to admit.  I am always a little jealous of those who can look past a grievous error and march on as if it never bothered them.  Whether it's their own mistakes or those of others, tolerance and forgiveness are both qualities I really admire.
3. PATIENCE.  Ah, now we have hit the jackpot.  Sometimes I can get so impatient, and while getting upset, I think to myself, "Why the hell am I acting like this?"  I never really noticed how this affects me until I had children.  Those people in my life who exercise patience are constantly reminding me to slow down and I am grateful for that.
4. ARTISTIC ABILITY.  This is one thing I have little of, other than being slightly crafty or learning my way in the kitchen.  I cannot sing (and I fear my kiddos are following in my footsteps, though I won't ever tell them that) or play an instrument.  I have issues drawing stick figures.  I'm not even sure I can finger paint.  When I see an artist in action I feel so blessed to witness the art they can create. Oh yes, artistic talent is something I admire.
5. INNOVATION.  Thinking outside the box, as the old saying goes.  This is one thing that really inspires me when I recognize it in others.  When someone can think of new ideas or new ways of doing something, it is energizing.
6. HUMOR.  I'm not talking about someone who can't survive if others don't think they are funny, but the people that can see the funny in situations and are able to appreciate the humor of life.  Laughter is so important, and is one reason having kids brings so much joy.  Everyday they create situations that cause laughter, and hearing their sweet giggles is irreplaceable. 


 

Heading in the right direction...

I figured I would write a few lines to update those of you who haven't heard about my newest zoo development.  I applied for a "keeper assistant" opening through the volunteer dept at the Denver Zoo a couple of weeks ago. (Yes, I am already a volunteer, but they make you put in an app for this particular activity).  To be clear, this is strictly volunteer hours, not a job.  I was accepted, and placed in the bear, sheep, coati and a few other random animals area.  I will be helping the keepers out on the 1st and 3rd Mondays each month.  This should allow me to meet a few more ppl in the animal care areas, which will prove beneficial I hope.  Thankfully my supervisor at the vet hospital is open to working around these days without a fuss. 
Speaking of the hospital, everything is continuing to work out well so far.  I am really enjoying working with people who have such unconditional love for their pets.  It is rewarding to be a part of a team that provides quality care for these animals.  I am learning the doctors, and who can be pressed for answers, and who is better left alone. (One particular technician seems to hate the world, including everyone who works with them.) 
We are still struggling a bit with daycare.  I am frustrated that the kids are not getting consistent care from the same person.  I am trying really hard to be understanding of our provider and allow her to put her son first in his road to recovery.  However, I have to put MY kids first, and having fill-ins and working around our providers schedule is proving to be a hassle.  I am willing to tough it out though, so long as things calm down before too long. 
Well, Paul finally went to the Dr. to see about his allergies.  This is after he suffered through a solid month of misery.  They didn't do too much for him, other than recommend some OTC items.  However he seems to be better.  On the other hand, I am now dealing with a cold, which of course had to come just in time for Easter!  At any rate, it is spring, and we just got a solid rain.  Things are blooming and I am determined not to let this cold bring me down!!
I hope everyone else is enjoying their spring as well.  Until next post....

Long time no write!

So I have pretty much fallen off the face of the blog world.  I guess that's what happens when you start a new job!  I figured I better stop by and write a quick update...

First of all, the job is going great.  I am learning a lot about how a vet hospital runs, and all the components necessary to make it successful.  I am finding that Community Pet Hospital (CPH) is a great place to work, and a great place to bring your animals.  Although I miss working directly with animals, I feel that I am fulfilling an important role.  I am waiting to hear back from the Denver Zoo in regards to becoming a Keeper Asst.  This would be a couple days a month, and I would be assisting keeper prepare diets and other duties that would free them to do more training or enrichment with their animals.  I know at Cameron Park Zoo it was always nice to have volunteer help so that we could be more productive.

On an unrelated note, my wonderful mother-in-law took myself, the kids and their cousins along with Paul's sister to see Disney on Ice here in Denver.  It was a Princess spectacular!!  I am so grateful to Nana for giving the kids an opportunity to see the show.  This was the first time I had been to an ice show I and I will say it was a lot of fun!!  I was impressed with the props they used, and the kids were certainly enthralled!!

We also took Ben to his first Taekwondo tournament.  We are so proud of his accomplishments!!  Ben has learned so much already, from blocks, punches and kicks to being respectful and improving his listening skills.  Ben's involvement as a "tiny tiger" in the tournament was limited of course, but it gave him the opportunity to watch the black belts spar, and see them display their skills with weapons.  And the rest of us were quite entertained too!  Below is a picture of Ben and the trophy he received for participating. 

Some of you may know that we've had to rearrange our daycare the past two weeks.  The provider we chose (whom we LOVE) had a family emergency- her son was involved in a motorcycle accident.  We have decided that Denise is just too fabulous to pass by, and are therefore more than willing to make other arrangements while she fulfills her role as supporting mother to a young man who truly needs his mother during this horrible experience.  It is unclear as of yet whether he will be able to pull through without major issues.  He has some brain trauma and his lungs collapsed after the accident.  It seems that each day is different, but the fact that he is alive is a miracle in itself.  We are doing our best to support Denise and wish her and her family the best of luck in recovering from this tragedy. 

On a lighter note, tomorrow is my first payday!!!  Yay for the opportunity to work hard and be rewarded for it!  The past couple weeks has required a lot of adjustments for everyone, but I feel we are moving in the right direction.  All in all we are very blessed to both be working, and to be back in the wonderful state of Colorado surrounded by loving family and friends.  Until the next post... take care!!!

Yay!

Well, I made it through my first week at the vet clinic!!  I didn't break the computer or get cussed at by a doctor!  In all seriousness, all the staff I have met so far have been pretty friendly, and the "client care" team (who I work right next to) are pretty awesome.  I feel really good about the training thus far, and am doing my best to learn quickly so I can be useful.  Next week I will be working some late shifts, so I should see more of the "emergency" end of the hospital.  Truth be told I have already been exposed to several euthanasia's, and while it is very sad, I have been able to stay focused, and not get emotional about it.  Part of having a pet is saying good-bye to them at some point. 
I also went to a quick training at the zoo today for the "Keeper Assistant" role for volunteers.  They have a few openings in several of the animal areas.  This is a weekly or 2x/month commitment, and the duties are cleaning and diets,etc depending on the area.  This would give me some exposure to the animal care staff, and help me get some volunteer hours.  It is a competitive program to some extent, since it is a popular activity for volunteers.  However, I have a leg up because of my previous keeper experience, so I feel pretty confident.  I will be talking to my boss this coming week to see if he can accommodate this commitment with my work schedule. 
The kids did great at daycare this past week.  They seem to be pretty comfortable with Denise, the provider we chose.  Of course they are trying to figure out their boundaries with her, and learning some new rules.  Jocey told Denise that I allow her to have cereal for lunch, for example.  And Ben is not too sure about the preschool worksheets that she has her other kids do, so we are going slow with that at first.  All in all though, I feel pretty good about it, and I think the kids do too. 
Ben and Jo are still doing great with Teakwondo and dance.  Ben's first tournament is April 9th!!  He won't really be competing, but he will show off some of his knowledge with the other tigers in the program.  We will be sure to get some pictures of that.  Jo is learning a lot at dance, and can now recognize and demonstrate certain terms, such as arabesque and posse (sp?).  Her balance is improving and she is making a couple of good friends.

That it's for the Brown's right now!!  I hope everyone is doing well.  More updates to come soon, I'm sure!

First Day

Today was my first day at Community Pet Hospital.  To be honest, it was pretty uneventful.  I filled out the necessary paperwork and watched a lot of webinars on the software that is used in the front office of the clinic, where I will be spending the majority of my time.  Tomorrow I will start my training up front, and the kiddos will test out the new daycare we have decided to use.  It is an in-home situation, which makes me slightly nervous, but mostly due to my own negative experiences as a child.  The lady was recommended to me via a co-worker at the hospital, and she couldn't stop talking about how great she was, so I have high hopes.  I have met only a handful of people at the clinic, but all have been very friendly, and I think I will fit in just fine.  So... here's to another paycheck!  Woopee!
Since I have adjusted to my life as a stay at home mom, I am a little nervous about fitting everything in on top of a full time job.  Of course I managed just fine in Texas, but the kids were not involved in extracurricular activities during that time.  And there were many days that I came back from the zoo totally exhausted, with very little desire to put dinner on the table for my family.  All I can do is try my best, and hope my family forgives me on the nights I serve them cereal for dinner.  
I will say I am very grateful for the opportunity to work again, and am excited for the next page in my career.  For those of you who are wondering, I am not giving up on my dreams of being employed as a zookeeper at the Denver Zoo just yet.  I will continue in my steps as a volunteer, and when the time is right, I am confident I will reach my goal.  Thank you all for your support!!

Job Update

This is going to be quick, as it is late and we've lots to accomplish tomorrow.  But I promised to give some details on my next venture, so here it is.

I have been offered a position at a vet clinic in Thornton, which is about 10 minutes north of us.  The job is called a Client Care Specialist.  This is essentially a front desk/reception position, so I will not be doing much on hand animal care.  I will however get the opportunity to buff up my vet knowledge, and I think I am going to work with some pretty great people.  I will be working approx 35hrs a week, and the pay is better than my other previous vet interviews. 

I am now trying (madly) to find daycare for Ben and Jo.  This is quite a challenge.  Our wish for them is to find a reliable, licensed caregiver that does not charge an arm and a leg.  We are looking at about 3x/wk, and the best one I looked at today wanted $200....  I spent a ridiculous amount of time on the phone today, and will hopefully have a chance to visit a few more places tomorrow.  The vet clinic really wants me to start on Monday, so wish me luck!!

I know this isn't much, but I will try to post again when I feel I have things under control again.  I do want to say thank you for all your support.  It has been tough to stay positive, but here I am with an opportunity, and I don't plan on wasting it!!

Our Elephant Bank

Sunday, March 13th was Thai National Elephant Day.  Every year since this day was appointed in 1998, the national animal of Thailand, the elephant, is celebrated.  The event is a way to bring public awareness to this magnificent creature, and to increase conservation efforts worldwide.  Here in Denver, the zoo put on an event recognizing this great holiday.  In true Thai fashion, the two female Asian elephants, Mimi and Dolly, were offered a feast of gigantic proportions.  In Thailand, the elephants are honored with banana trees, sugar cane and LOTS of fruit.

                                            Photo courtesy of http://www.thaiphotoblogs.com

 As many of you know, the Denver Zoo is building a 50 million dollar Asian Tropics exhibit, which will be home to Asian elephants, rhinos, tapirs, otters, leopards, gibbons and more.  They are about half way through the construction, and are on time to be opening next spring.  Obviously fund raising for this amazing project is no easy feat.  This past Sunday, while Thai National Elephant Day was celebrated, the zoo kicked off a Kid's Campaign to encourage children to do their part to raise much needed money.  More info can be found at http://denverzoo.org/AT/how_you_can_help/kids/index.html .  The Brown family couldn't attend (we had a very important birthday party to attend), but I decided we could participate at home.  
The zoo is giving out paper elephant banks, and asking that kids fill the banks and return them to the zoo.  It is a great way to get the community involved, and a fantastic way for kids to make a difference.  Since we couldn't head to the zoo on Sunday, I asked Ben if he wanted to make our own bank here at home.  I explained to him that the money he would put in the bank would help pay for the elephants new exhibit.  Ben's response was "I can HELP PAY for their exhibit?!  COOL!"
I located an empty jar, and we got to work.  Instead of printing the suggested graphic from the zoo website (http://denverzoo.org/downloads/at_build_bank.pdf), we decorated it with paper, stamps and stickers.  (Nothing against the graphic, my printer is just about out of ink). 

We titled ours "Pennies for Elephants".  Of course the first order of business was finding some pennies to start us off.  Ben and I headed to the office, and located the change jar amongst Daddy's things.  Ben was so funny about raiding the jar- he acted as though he was being sneaky, and I had to assure him it was okay to take Daddy's pennies.

At my niece's birthday party on Sunday, I allowed Ben to take the jar with him.  He asked friends and family if they had any pennies to donate.  He was very shy about it, but I could tell he was very pleased with himself.  I am very proud of Ben, and his desire to help out with Asian Tropics.  Once the jar is full, we will take it to the zoo, and he should get a poster with Mimi and Dolly on it for his efforts.  Who knows, maybe we can fill it more than once.  Either way, I feel good knowing that my son is participating in something much larger than himself, and having a good time in the process.

Hopeful Once More??

So today I had an interview.  No, it wasn't for a zoo position.  The title is "Animal Care Attendant", or as my interviewee says, an ACA.  This is a support position at a veterinary clinic in Golden, which is just outside of Denver.  The hospital is huge, with a total of seven doctors, and a multitude of technicians.  The staff I met were all very nice, and I feel the interview went well.  The hours would be a mix of mornings and evenings, during the week and weekends.  Sounds all over the place, but the CVT who interviewed me said it would be consistent every week, and we could do whatever would work for me and my family schedule.  So.... do I dare hope that this might be my next step?  The pay is not great, but I think I would really enjoy the job, and it would be great experience to have under my belt.  Besides, after 90 days I would be eligible for benefits, and a possible raise. 
Either way, I sort of feel at this point that whatever is meant to happen will happen.  I am sure if it was a carnivore job at Denver I would be stressing out completely, but I have this very calm feeling about me.  If I don't get it, then I'll just keep plugging away.  As Tom Krause (a motivational speaker) says, "There are no failures- just experiences and your reaction to them". 

PS. I will keep you all posted.  I should hear back within a week. 

March Blues

It's been a rough couple of days in the Brown household.  Well, at least for me.  The kiddos are mostly oblivious, aside from being yelled at by their angry mom a little more.  And Paul is doing his best to hold me together, bless his heart. 

I got the dreaded phone call from the zoo yesterday.  Sorry, we really liked you, but we chose another candidate.  Same old story.  Well, I shouldn't say that.  At least I had a chance to interview.  My emotions ranged from disappointed, angry, sad, and frustrated to downright depressed.   Paul is definitely my rock right now.  As he told me before the lights went out last night, "Tomorrow is another day". 

And today was a little better.  I found a few postings on Craigslist for vet clinics and doggie daycares.  I've already received one email back.  Unfortunately these types of positions pay poorly.  But as I told my husband, at least it would get me out of the friggin' house!!  After that I took the kids to the library.  For some strange reason, this is the first time we have gone since we've been back.  We used to go almost every week in Texas.  So I now have an Elizabeth George novel and a popular gluten-free cookbook/love story to read.  Hopefully this will lift my spirits a bit. 

The weather is supposed to warm up again tomorrow, and hang around for a few days.  I hope this will give us a chance to soak up some sun, and chase these blues away. 

Just a speed bump

Well, I totally had a moment of weakness tonight.  And I am okay with that.  Really.  I think that all this being patient and working towards my goal can at times be very frustrating.  I am so very blessed that I have a husband who would make everything better in an instant if he could, and who allows me to break down in his arms when I need to. 
My only disclaimer is that it is my "ladies time" (ew, I know, but I felt it has to be said in my defense).  So maybe this is why I am feeling stressed more than usual, who knows.  The tip of the iceberg was making this healthy, supposedly gluten-free meal, only to put a soy sauce type dressing on it, and realizing after the fact that it contains wheat.  Fabulous. (For those unaware, I am going gluten-free as a trial to see if some health concerns lessen).  Well, guess what Doc, I sure as hell ate it anyway.  I felt bad, but I think in light of everything else, I can made one blunder, right?
Anywho, I was feeling guilty I guess, and this got me kinda down, and then (remember folks, I am being womanly right now) I started feeling bad about other things too.  Like how I still haven't heard back from the trainer of the Wildlife Show at the Denver Zoo, when she told me they would decide on their candidate by Thursday.  So yes, I had me a little cry.  At the dinner table. 
Not one of my finer moments.  But ya know what?  It helped.  A lot.  My husband was there for me, and my babies got all concerned about mommy, and I felt good, like someone knows what I am worth and makes sure that I know it too.  So even though I am still feeling a little sorry for myself, I have been more than reminded of what I do have to be grateful for. 
So this is just a little bump in the road I guess.  And I've seen my share of speed bumps and lived to tell the tale, so here's to hoping this story won't be any different. 

Dreams Are Like Fish

Whew!!  What a crazy week we've had around the Brown household.  As you can see, I haven't posted anything for awhile.  We've had Taekwondo, dance, chiropractic appts, ZooU volunteer training, a trip to Montana, the kids spent the weekend at the grandparents.... and yesterday I took the kiddos and cousin KK to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs.  (I may post about this later.)

So today is my first chance in awhile to take a deep breath, absorb everything that has transpired in the past few days and get the house back in order.  Tackling the dishes this morning, I decide to throw on some good 'ol G-Love and the Special Sauce to get me motivated.  A line from one of their songs struck a chord with me today.  "Dreams are like fish: you gotta keep on reeling!" 

How true!!  This quote has special meaning for me right now, especially after this weekend.  Thurs eve, and all day Sat and Sun I was at the zoo for volunteer training.  It was a lot of fun, and so refreshing to meet new people that share similar interests with me.  Most of the other newbies don't have an animal background, but they all feel strongly about the zoo's mission, and that's what is important.  I learned a lot about how Denver is run, and the people that make it happen.  We had several tours of the different areas of the zoo, and met some volunteers that have been in the program forever, and some that just got started recently.

After training on Sunday, I had an interview for a temporary position at Denver, in their Wildlife Show department.  This is a keeper position, taking care of the animals that are in the show, and providing support to the employees that run the program.  It is definitely an education related spot, which is a lot of fun.  The job would be March to September, and would allow me to meet some great contacts, and hopefully leave me with a great reference from someone directly from Denver.  (*YAY*)

I should know within the next few days if they offer me the job.  I am definitely thinking positively, yet I feel that even if I do not get it, at least I am in the door in the volunteer department.  This is where G-Love comes in.  Baby, I am reeling those dreams in!!  I may not be catching the prize bass, but no one is gonna stop me from making my way towards my goal.

I will leave you with a picture of Denver's absolutley gorgeous snow leopard.  What a pretty kitty!!

Ben's List

A few minutes ago, Ben came up to me and started chattering about all sorts of stuff while I was on the computer.  He has pretty much been glued to my side all day, so I was only half listening (don't judge- Mommy does have a right for personal time).  For some reason he has suddenly become a huge fan of making lists.  I think it may stem from going grocery shopping, as I like to give the kids each a few items to remember as we shop to keep them entertained.   Anyway, I caught a few words of a list Ben was reciting to me and I asked him to repeat himself.

 "Mom, here’s my list: I want a knight costume, a cowboy costume, and when I grow up I want a gun."

"Ok, so that’s your list?"

"Yup. Oh, and one more thing. When I grow up I want to be an alientoligist.". 

"What?" I asked, thinking maybe this was one of his made up words.

Seeing my confused expression, Ben says, "Oh, I mean a PALEONTOLOGIST!!"

"Oh, okay.  I think that's a great list," I told him.

And with that, Ben walked away.  I figured he was satisfied with that discussion, until he returned a few minutes later.

"Mom, I have more thing I want to do," Ben stated very matter-of-fact.

"Okay."

"Work at the zoo!!  I wanna work with the rhinos and the reptiles."

God, I love this kid.

Ben's Froggy Blanket

A few minutes ago I tucked Benjamin in for bed.  He had a stuffed animal neatly tucked in next to him, but there was no sign of his favorite frog blanket.  I made a comment about the stuffed animal, and Ben said he and Jocey traded.
"I gave Jo Bear my froggy blankie so that her tummy would feel better", he told me.  (She had complained of a tummy ache earlier.)
"Well, you were a very good brother to do that," I responded.
"I know.  I like to take care of her," he said sleepily.
Right about here was when my sense of pride kicked into full gear.  There are times when Ben is mean, rude and downright nasty to his sister.  Of course she has the ability to give him hell right back.  This is what siblings are all about.  I should know, as I have four of them.  But when Ben saw Jocey was troubled about something, he gave her his absolute FAVORITE item willingly, so that she would feel better. 
I have to say that witnessing acts of selflessness such as what Ben did for his sister tonight makes me feel really great as a parent.  Family is ALWAYS first, and being considerate of them is a lesson that Ben seems to learning well.

Enrichment For Kids

During my stay in Texas, I was constantly saving our empty toilet paper and paper towel rolls to bring in to the zoo.  (This drove Paul crazy, but oh well!)  We would use them to hide treats in for the animals, or make mobiles for the cats to bat around.  It was a great way to recycle.  In fact we saved a lot of other things to donate too.
Well, after seeing a bunch of these tubes in our recycle box, I decided there must be some sort of fun craft or project we could do with them.  I found a great blog the other day, and checked that to see if there were any ideas.  Bingo! We decided to make an owl play set.  For the original post, visit  http://www.frugalfamilyfunblog.com/2010/10/owl-family-play-set.html.
When I brought the tubes in the kitchen, Jocey immediately grabbed two small ones, brought them to her face, and said, "I want to make noculars!"  So we did that too. 

The main ingredients you will need:
Different sized paper tubes
Paint, paintbrush
Manilla envelope
Markers/crayons/colored pencils
Scissors
Construction paper
Optional: pom-poms and cotton ball
For the Binoculars: yarn, and a wine cork or pipe-cleaner

The first thing we did was to paint the paper tubes.  This allowed the kids to get a little messy, but definitely got their artistic juices flowing.  For Jocey's binoculars, we used two small tubes.  For the owls, I cut the tubes into three different sizes.

Next we decided to make a back drop for the owls.  Using a manila envelope, I drew the outline of a tree on both sides of the crease.  We created a daytime scene on the left, and a nighttime scene on the right.  To add a little flair, we glued red pom-poms on the tree to make apples.  In the nighttime scene, we glued a cotton ball to make a moon.  This was a great way to pass the time while the tubes dried.

After our back drop was created, we took our dried tubes and created the owls.  First you fold down the top to create the horned look.  We did not need tape to hold it, it just stayed folded on its own.  The we cut out eyes (you could use googley eyes too- we didn't have any), the beak, and the wings, and glued those to the tube.  Viola!!

We now have a great little owl play set that was fun and inexpensive to make.  For Jo's binoculars, I connected the two tubes with a pipe-cleaner. To make it a bit sturdier, I cut the pipe cleaner in two, and had two connections between the tubes.  It would work better to use a wine cork, but we were fresh out of those!  Then I punched two small holes in each tube, and threaded yarn through to make a necklace. 

Guess who has been exploring?  It's amazing what you can see with paper tube binoculars!!

Life Skills on a Low Income

There are times as a mother (or a father) when you think back to your childhood and wonder "How the HELL did my parents do it?  What is the secret?"  I think the funny part about becoming a parent is realizing just how clueless you can be, and still make it through okay.  I grew up in a combined family setting.  My mother remarried when I was eight, and we became a family of five kids.  Now, granted my step brother and sister did not live with us full time, but I have to sit back and wonder now how the heck my mom and step-dad paid for us to do ANYTHING extra, outside of basic necessities.  There was soccer, gymnastics, karate, among other activities that we as kids participated in.  Now, as my children are getting to the age where they want to get involved in Taekwondo and dance, I am wondering how we are going to make this work on one income. 
I spent a great deal of time yesterday researching karate and dance companies in our area.  I started first with the recreation centers close by.  Well, guess what folks, we rent a house from an owner that does not pay taxes to any one district, so we would be paying the non-resident prices at any city community center in the surrounding areas.  Expanding my search, I began calling privately owned companies.  WOWZA!!  Talk about expensive!!  Some of the karate (yes, I am using this term loosely, I know there are many different types and forms) places want almost $200 a month!  And the dance companies weren't much better.  The thing with dance is you have to add in prices of costumes, and recital or competition fees.  Which leaves me wondering why the hell I would want to worry about that crap when Jocey is just barely FOUR.  I started to feel stressed out about the whole thing, and depressed that I want to provide this for my children, but the expenses are so ludicrous that the chances are looking slim.
This morning I took Ben to a trial class at a American Taekwondo Association location.  I was blown away by how great it was!  The woman running this particular location was extremely helpful, and explained that they do have a scholarship program available for lower income families.  Woohoo!  I will have to bring our tax forms in to see if we qualify.  Ben had so much fun during his 30 minute class.  He learned some basic blocks and kicks, and had fun playing agility games with the other student and the instructor.  He learned about courtesy, and was saying "Yes, sir!" like the best of them.  This program has a strong focus on "Life Skills", which is the best part.  I feel really confident that Ben will gain a great deal from these classes, things that will stick with him into his future. 
This has left me feeling more optimistic about our situation.  I am hoping that we will be able to find something similar in the dance realm for Jocelyn.  I really do feel that it is important for our children to venture outside of our home, to make friends, and to have other positive figures in their lives besides their parents.  The fact that this seems to be such an expensive prospect just means that I need to do a little extra work in finding the solution.

A Pick-me-up

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

I was looking through "my documents" on the computer today (searching through the multitude of cover letters, resumes and job descriptions), and came across this quote.  Someone had emailed it to me awhile back, and it struck a chord with me, so I copied and pasted it into a word document for further review.  (FYI- I do not know the author, sorry.)

I get my fair share of religious emails (which I usually just delete- I know, I'm horrible), and though this has a prayer ring to it, I liked it because it really can apply to any faith.  In fact, I think I am going to print this, and perhaps tape it to my mirror, or somewhere I will see it everyday.  Now, I am not one to play into the whole idea of "destiny".  However, right now I feel as though time is dragging on, and I want to be DOING something with my career, and I am having a hard time finding patience.  However, after reading this, I feel reminded that I truly AM blessed, and that my life is on a path that does have meaning, even if right now I feel slightly useless.  

The good news is the zoo just posted a part-time education keeper opening, and I received an email response last night for a part-time opening at a vet clinic close by.  Who knows, maybe soon I will be busier than I planned.  For right now, I am going to take it day by day, and relish the time I have with my children.  And I am going to be content with myself, just the way I am. 

I Love You Like a Puma

Last night I got in some much needed cuddle time with my son, Ben.  My back was killing me, and I decided to lay in bed with a heating pad to ease the discomfort.  Ben came in and kept me company.  At this point, Jocey had put herself to bed.  As we were laying there, I told Ben I loved him, and that I really enjoyed snuggling with him.
His response was, "Do you like snuggling with me more than Jocey?" 
Hmmm.  My first thought was to be honest, because I try very hard to be truthful with my kiddos, but I knew if I said yes, he would immediately run downstairs and rub it in Jo's face that he was a better cuddle bug than her.  The truth is, when Jocey cuddles, she comes in and lays next to me, and tells me she loves me.  Super sweet, yes, but.... in approx. 10 secs, she will begin flopping around like a fish.  I have no idea why this phenomenon occurs, but it definitely has to do with the fact that Jocey CANNOT sit or lay still until she is unconscious.  That my friends, is a fact. 
So of course I told Ben that I loved to snuggle with both him and Jocey equally, and our conversation turned to other topics.  Like how much he loved me.  I know, isn't he a sweetheart? 
"Mom, I love you like a puma,"  Ben said, trying to get me to laugh.  (Yes, there are times when he is obviously a zookeeper's child). 
"WHAT?" I said, playing into his little game.  "What does that mean?"
"It means I love you like a blueberry!" He giggled.
"WHAT?  What does that mean," I asked.
Ben replied, "It means I love you like a lamp!"  And sent himself into hysterics over his own silliness. 
So of course I again inquired what this meant, and on he went telling me he loved me like a bunch of other inanimate objects.  After a few minutes the both of us were laughing so much that I completely forgot about my back pain. 
After awhile both Ben and I felt our eyes getting heavy, and drifted off to sleep.  Later, when Paul came upstairs to go to bed, he decided to leave Ben where he was, and sleep in the spare room.  Paul doesn't normally do this, but I am glad he did. 
This morning, when my son gently shook me awake, I rolled over and told him that I love him like a puma.

SLIME!!!!!!!

Everyone loves slime!!  I have fond memories of making this fun concoction in the elementary lunch room.  I believe we used cornstarch back then.  There are plenty of recipes or instructions online for slime, but the one I tweaked for our purposes is http://www.burbmom.net/slime/.  The ingredients and supplies you will need are as follows:

Elmer's Glue
Borax (laundry soap)
Food Coloring (optional)
Measuring cups and spoons
Water
Children (also optional, but this project is more fun when little ones are involved)

The best part is that this project is very inexpensive.  The 5lb box of Borax (which I had never heard of until last week) was $2.99, and the food coloring (generic, because I am super frugal) was $1.99.  We had the glue on-hand, but c'mon, people, glue is super cheap too.  No excuses!!!!!

The first thing you want to do is mix an equal amount of glue and water together.  I used 1/8 cup of each, and let the kids mix it together in a 1/2 cup measuring cup.  (I had to remind them to mix SLOWLY, so if your kiddos are a little rambunctious, you may want to give them a deeper mixing "bowl".) 

After they were mixing away, I helped them add the food coloring.  (Heck no, they weren't allowed to do this part, are you crazy?!) Jo chose purple, and Ben chose blue.  The best part about this is they won't be able to fight over whose slime is whose.  And it's a great way to talk about mixing primary colors.  We only needed a few drops of coloring to reach the desired effect.

Next we mixed in 3/4tsp (no need to be exact, an overflowing tsp is fine) of Borax in 1/2 cup room temp water into a separate measuring cup (we used a 1 cup sized).  You want to stir this for several minutes, until the borax is completely dissolved.  Once it's saturated, you are ready to add the glue/water mixture.  The chemicals in the borax and water mixture should immediately bind with the glue/water.  Who said chemistry is boring?! 
IMPORTANT:  if you are making more than one color, as we did, you will need separate water/borax mixtures for each color.  Don't try to re-use the borax/water, since the important active ingredients are already used up.

                                    
There will be water left over.  At this point, my recommendation is to take it to the sink.  Grab the "slime", and work it with your hands, allowing the excess water to drip off, until the slime solidifies into the perfect texture.

And, VIOLA!!!!  Satisfied customers!!  Maybe a bit too excited there, Jo.  The kids stretched and pulled, and giggled over their slime for about 20 minutes.  At this point we pulled out the ziplock bags and stored them for future use.  Although the slime didn't seem to stick to their clothing, or make too big a mess, it definitely attracts dirt and hair.  But once it is too dirty to play with, you can always make more!!!

Alright, here is the nitty gritty, so you don't have to scroll through my lovely pictures while creating your masterpiece:

1.  Mix together equal parts glue and water (I suggest 1/8 cup of each).
2.  Add desired food coloring.
3. In a separate bowl, or cup, add 3/4 tsp Borax to 1/2 cup room temperature water.  Stir this until the Borax is completely (or mostly, if you're lazy like me) dissolved.
4. Pour the glue/water mixture into the Borax/water mixture.  Allow the chemicals to bond, then remove slime and let excess water drip off.  Manipulate the slime with your hands until the texture firms up.

DONE!!  Now clean up the mess you made!

The Best Days of My Life

Ok, so I found this list online:  http://demandingjoy.com/?p=1027, and thought it was pretty neat.  I think I will come back to this when I need some inspiration.  Today I've decided to visit on #9- The best days of your life.  I am sure I will probably leave one or two out, so if if you feel the day I met YOU should be on this list, you're probably right. :)  I am also going to attempt some form of chronological order, but my memory isn't always spot on, so we'll see.... 

1.  My first day of 1st grade.  Oh my goodness I was so excited!!  I remember always enjoying that first day of school for most every grade, but this was particularly special because I was now a BIG KID!!
2. The day I stepped on an airplane without my parents.  (This may be out of order, but who cares).  I remember this day clearly, or rather the day before we left, because some jerks broke into my dad's car while we saw a baseball game downtown, and stole some of our stuff, including our candy!!  Alas, my brothers and I got some more candy to bring on-board the airplane, and flew to see our grandparents in Connecticut. 
3.  My Mom and Step-Dad's wedding.  I still tear up thinking of it!!  I would also have to include the day my mother told me that Chris had proposed, and that my best friend Kirsten was going to be my SISTER!!!  Their wedding was gorgeous. Truly an absolutely beautiful ceremony and reception on a beautiful Colorado day.
4. The day I graduated from 6th grade.  Niener, niener, niener, I am going to middle school!!!!  If I had known how crappy jr high really was, I probably would have been less excited.  Nonetheless, I remember feeling very proud of my accomplishment!
5. The day I saw my first true concert.  How independent I was!!  Well, not really, since it was chaperoned by one of my parents friends, but still, it was great.  My friends and I went to Red Rocks and saw Creed, and Candlebox.  Thinking back now, I can't believe my first concert was at such an amazing venue. 
6. The day I was un-grounded, the summer before 9th grade.  Seriously, folks, I think I spent most of this summer in trouble.  My saving grace was being allowed to spend time with my sister, who introduced me to a new group of friends. That paved the way for a lot of my high school fun.  I clearly remember getting the go ahead to be free again, though it was limited to the amount of trust my mother held in me, which was minimum at best.
7. Graduating high school. Alright, so I just skipped high school, and went straight to graduation.  That's not to say I didn't enjoy a lot of days during this time, but I had me some serious senor-itis, and was soooooo happy high school was finally done.  And no, I am not including prom, since I was actually dumped by my boyfriend at the time the night of. (Yup, after dinner.  I still had a blast for after prom though, amazingly.)
8. My first date with Paul.  I know, aw.....  It's true though.  Paul and I had been giving each other googly eyes for ever, and had spent some time in a group setting, but the day he took me to Rolland Moore to hit golf balls was obviously the start of something special.  I'll never forget the butterflies, and the thought of "why the HELL am I swinging a golf club right now.  Oh, yeah, because Paul is amazingly HOT!!"  This day solidified our relationship into "boyfriend-girlfriend" status.
9. The day I FINALLY gave birth to our first child, Benjamin. Holy cow, why does pregnancy seem to take forever?  Being our first child, Paul and I were so anxious for the delivery, and over analyzed every contraction once we were in the two week mark of Ben's due date.  My labor was pretty quick, and after being put back together by the doc, I was able to hold my precious little boy.  (Ok, here I go, getting all teary-eyed again).  Nothing up to this day prepared me for the immediate joy and love of this experience. 
10.  The day I married my best-friend.  I know, I am being super cheesy with this post!  So true though- my wedding day was amazing.  So many friends and family, and joy in knowing Paul was now my husband, and I was his wife.  It was an incredible day. 
11. The day I was offered a job at Cameron Park Zoo.  AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  Seriously, I screamed. A lot.  After months of applying to zoos across the country, and going through a stressful over the phone interview, I was offered a spot in the mammal dept at CPZ.  Finally, getting a BS in zoology was getting me somewhere!!

Wow, so this post is a bit longer than I expected, so kudos to you if you read the whole thing!!  Like I said, there are many more days that mean a lot to me, and molded who I am today.  For the sake of the blog, the eleven days I listed will just have to do!

Fun and Games

Just a quick little story to show you how fun shopping can be with two kiddos....

I have to say, first of all, that I consider myself to be a pretty fun and silly person, at least when it comes to my kids.  This is not to say I am not uptight about certain things, but the reality is that laughter is a cure all, and I love to hear Ben and Jo crack up.  (Sometimes being silly can be a defense mechanism, and a great distraction when you can see a fit building up).  This past Friday, I dragged the kids with me to do some errands.  I took them to the playground for about 45 minutes first, just to take a little edge of the energy, and hopefully encourage good behavior. (Aren't I genius?)  Our third and final stop was Cost-co.  The kids have a blast going here, since there are usually samples and goodies to try as we snake around the store.  We made it up to the checkout stand, and here is where I start sweating.  Getting two kids to stand next to you in line is pretty much impossible.  And I will say that putting a crap load of toys right next to the registers is somebody's idea of a sick joke.  I know I get tired of hearing myself say "Put that down now, please."   So I start distracting the kids with some tickles.  Then Ben and Jocey start tickling me, which is fine and dandy.  The next thing I know, Ben grabs a hold of my pants from behind, and pulls my underwear up, and shouts "WEDGEEEEE!!!!!!!"  Of course at this precise moment, an employee walked right behind us, talking into his store radio.  He was totally trying to hold in his laughter.  Well, instead of being super embarrassed, I cracked up too, because really people, it was hilarious.  After the laughter died, I leaned down to my son and quietly told him that we only give wedges at home.  Let's hope he remembers that rule!!

Oh Boy...

YIKES!!!!  

Holy cow, am I really getting sucked in to this blogging thing???  Who would've thought...

Ok, so not too long ago I was sitting in my kitchen with my mother, laughing about something silly one of my kiddos came up with.  My mom told me that I should really write down all these crazy things that my son and daughter say and do.  My response was that I often post their escapades on facebook, which of course wasn't what she had in mind.  The truth is, my mother is spot on.  My children are some of the funniest, most imaginative people I have ever come across.  A mother's bias?  Well, yes, probably.  Anyway, here I am a few weeks later, dipping my toes in to the blogging world.

I must admit another reason for starting this up is due to Stumble Upon.  Oh yes, how I love this internet boredom cure.  Through my stumbling adventures, I have come across many blogs.  Some are cooks, some are mothers, some are just people who enjoy writing, or need to vent.  But the fact is, I have identified with many posts, and enjoy reading viewers comments, and the discussion that ensues.  So... maybe this is just a way to stay sane during my unemployment stint, or maybe this will turn into a long term thing.  Who knows?