A New Year

Does anyone else feel that New Years resolutions are ridiculous?  Why is that Americans only want to better themselves one time a year?  And we all know how long these "resolutions" really last.  I did post on facebook that I want to make more time for family and friends.  Which is true, but it's not something I just thought of because it's suddenly 2012.  I think we all struggle with TIME and the fact there is just not enough of it.  I find it hard to fit everything in and still have time for doing nothing.  Because honestly folks, doing nothing is important too, at least to me.  Sometimes I realize that months have past since the last time I have seen my best friend, or that I haven't seen my cousins in over a year.  And I feel guilty. Does anyone else ever get the urge to simply buy all the plane tickets they'd like to, and screw the credit card debt that ensues?  At least you would know you get to see a slice of the world, and are doing it with the ones you love.  But.... I am cursed with my mother's practicality and realism, so I'll just dream it in my head. :)
Anywho, I suppose I better throw in a quick update.  No, I have not gotten a job at the zoo yet. (Shocker, right?) Please be aware that I will surely shout it from the rooftops when I do.  The only opening right now is seasonal, and doesn't pay as much as the vet hospital.  As far as the hospital itself, well I have good days and bad days, like anyone else.  Some days I feel like ripping out my hair, jumping over the front counter and screaming, "What the HELL am I doing here?" in the front lobby.  Other days I get into a rhythm, and truly enjoy myself.  I may be able to start training in the back a little, but am uncertain.  I seem to be sensing that my goals for this place don't exactly match up with what admin envisions.  Oh well.
Ben is thriving in school, and is starting to read.  Dr. Suess, you are my hero.  He complains about having to go to BASE (the after school program), but I think he honestly does enjoy it.  Jocey is at a home daycare that I wish I could change.  There is nothing wrong with the woman who runs it per say, except she NEVER turns the t.v. off.  It's a constant background noise.  I wish we could afford to put her in a preschool, but it just isn't feasible right now.  I know my little one is a smart cookie, so I have no fear that once Jo hits kindergarten, her potential will spark and she will be an excellent learner.  (By the way, in SEVEN months, Ben will be in 1st grade, and Jo goes to kindergarten.  This is quite exciting to them both- they seem to be pretty into the concept of time right now.)
Most of you know that Paul was just promoted.  He will be running Swiss machines, which are brand new and in the fore front of machining technology.  He ran Swiss when he worked at WaterPik, but hasn't since, so he is very excited.  This will boost his experience, and hopefully better prepare himself when Paul takes the leap to start his own company. As far as timing on that, who knows, but more than likely another few years yet.
Lastly, we have slowly started house shopping.  Paul and I are interested in building, but I think it's obvious we are not ready for that step in our lives.  Therefore, we are starting to look in Arvada/Westminster areas right now (just west of Denver).  Our lease ends in May, so I am hoping we can finish out Ben's school year and then find a more permanent home.  The idea of owning a home again is pretty nerve racking after our last experience.  We are not even really sure we will be approved for a mortgage, but I guess we'll find out soon.
I hope this post finds you all well and happy.  Love you all!  I will leave you with a pic from xmas:

Inching my way closer....

Okay folks, it's time for me to share some good news.  A lot has happened in the past two months since my last blog (ooops, sorry I've been lazy I guess), but I am going to focus on this past week.  Those of you who have facebook know a little about the progress I've made towards getting hired at the Denver Zoo.  I just wanted to share some of the networking opportunities I've had recently so you all can think lots and lots of wonderful thoughts for me.

First, on Tuesday I had the pleasure of re-meeting the Curator of Primates and Carnivores, and (meeting for the first time) the Carnivore Supervisor.  The face to face was encouraged by one the the keepers that I have met during my time as a Keeper Assistant in the bear area.  It was a positive experience that left me feeling very good about my chances of being hired.  Both these individuals are very nice people, and they gave me a few minutes to discuss my background and then asked me a few questions.  The carnivore supervisor said he would "flag my resume for review" and the curator promised she would pull out the notes from my previous interview to look over. 

Today I went to the zoo for volunteer training for the new Asian Tropics exhibit that is slated to open next spring.  We did a couple hours in a classroom setting then were allowed a behind the scenes look at animal holding areas and the exhibits.  (If you don't know much about the new exhibit, check it out at

http://www.denverzoo.org/at/).  It was AMAZING!!  This project is absolutely incredible, and it is going to really put the Denver Zoo "on the map" as they say.  Not only will this be the only holding facility in the US  able to hold multiple bull elephants, but it is a completely state of the art, innovative design and it's 10 acres!!  While in the new elephant building, I noticed a man that I thought may be the Curator of Asian Tropics, that I have heard a lot about.  (I also know he has asked about me through some of the carnivore keepers).  I introduced myself, and he was more than willing to talk with me.  He even went as far as walking me through the rhino/tapir building, which was in fact blocked off to the other volunteers.  He chatted with me about the logistics of the exhibit, including which animals were coming, when things would be ready to go, etc.  I asked him about some of the building features, and he was happy to show me a few things.  The rhino/tapir and the elephant buildings are a zookeepers DREAM!!  We are talking HUGE stalls, fully hydrolic doors that work on a TOUCH SCREEN system, hoses that reel themselves in, multiple squeezes and built in scales, etc etc etc.  I was practically drooling.  (Yah, yah, some of you have no idea, but my keeper friends understand!)

Anyway, all in all I know that things are finally moving forward for me.  I have had quite a few staff members acknowledge how competitive it is to get into Denver, but most are very encouraging and keep telling me to be persistent.  I have no idea what the time table looks like, but I have waited this long, and I know I can wait longer if needed.  At least now I can say that I have met several hiring managers, and things are looking promising.  I can go to work at the vet hospital and think to myself, "Not much longer here, I can do it."  And the thought of being back in the zoo after a long year is really comforting. 

One day at a time

So many of you know that last week Paul's Grandfather, Ken Cooper, passed away.  Paul received a phone call from his mother early Thursday morning.  He called her back during his break, and then called me at work around 10am.  When I got his voice mail I could tell something was seriously wrong, and I immediately returned his call.  When he told me the news, I dropped.  Literally, in the back room at the hospital.  Shit!!  It's just not fair.  Ken was an amazing man, not just as a husband, father, or grandfather, but someone who just LISTENED when you needed to talk.  He never judged me, or told me what to do, he just sat with me and let me talk when I needed.  He would tell me stories of Paul's mom and siblings growing up, and of he and Paul's grandmother when they were younger.  I cherish those times spent on the back porch, just enjoying each others company. 

                This is one of my favorite family shots with Ken.  That smile is how I will remember him.

Paul and I left work on Thursday and headed up to Fort Collins with kids in tow to be with the Brown family.  There is never a "right" thing to do in these situations, but we wanted to be present to help with whatever needed.  And we knew that Paul's mom would appreciate having her grandchildren around.  If nothing else, our children certainly do know how to brighten someone's day.  Things intensified when Paul's sister called to say that she was having contractions.  Miss Kodi was getting ready to arrive.  So we headed to Jennifer's house.  We spent the day together, hanging out at the apartment, taking the kids to the park, and just showing support for Jennifer.  Her contractions continued into Friday.  I had to head back to Denver to go to work, but was kept updated of the excitement.  Miss Kodi Rahnae was born on August 5th at 5:11pm.  She was 6lbs 15oz and 20 and 3/4" long, with plenty of dark hair. 

On Saturday I returned to Fort Collins to be with the family and meet my niece.  What a treasure!!  Kodi is absolutley beautiful.  And her parents, Zach and JB have lots to be happy about.  Kaedence is going to be a great big sister, I can tell.  Jocey and Ben were pretty excited as well about their new cousin.  Thinking about my own cousins, I feel so grateful that our kids have the chance to be close with their cousins, and have that chance to know them other than through photographs.  This is one of the many reasons Colorado is where we belong.

                                                                  Miss Kodi Rahnae

This past week has been pretty crazy.  Paul and his parents left on Sunday to head to OK for Ken's funeral.  Paul returned last night while I was working a late shift.  I work late again tonight, which means I have had very little time with my husband.  It's all short term though, and that's what matters.  Life will move on, and this week will just be a memory soon. 

In the meantime, I am trying hard to get daycare for Jocey and school for Ben all under control.  Ben's first day is the 22nd.  We have to go get school supplies, and take him shopping for clothes.  Jocey will be attending an in home daycare up the street from Ben's school, and Ben will be doing BASE camp for after school care.  Lots of changes about to happen, but I am feeling like they will be good ones, and certainly pretty exciting for Mister Benjamin. 

That's it for now.... until next time.  Take care!

A change of plans?

Struggling to stay positive....

Haven't heard from the zoo in regards to my most recent application.  What is the deal?  How come they can't realize that I would be a great keeper?  That I AM a great keeper? How many other people are applying, and how are they beating me to the top?  I just had a bit of a breakdown in front of Paul.  I don't think he knows what to tell me.  I know he feels bad- I left Texas not because I was ready, but because he couldn't stand it any longer.  I had an amazing job w/ amazing animals and people working alongside me who believed in the same things as me.  I missed my family, but everyday I left work feeling accomplished and loving what I do. 

Now I work at a vet hospital.  I work up front, dealing w/ people not animals.  Sure, I get to interact w/ cats and dogs, and feel good that I am part of a team that helps them recover from sickness, or prevent it from happening in the future.  And a lot of the people I work w/ are smart, and fun, and really enjoy what they are doing.  Me?  I am in the in between stage.  I used to have a great job, hoping to have it again, but right now just earning a paycheck.  SOMETHING has to give.  And believe me, I am not proud of the self pity I am projecting right now.  But I am ANGRY. 

So what now?  Do I back down, stop applying, give up?  Is it even "giving up", or is it maybe just realizing that I need to adjust my goals?  I'm not sure.  All I know is that I am ready for something more.  And I am tired of being rejected.  I really thought persistence was going to win.  A year later, I am wondering how long I can keep this up without heading a different direction just to keep some sanity. 

Okay, I am stopping the vent now.  If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions, I welcome them.  Even if you want to tell me to suck it up, I would appreciate some outside views....

Daddy Tells Jo a Story

Last night the kids had a friend spend the night.  They were playing downstairs and when I went to check on them, and found Jo putting something small up one of her nostrils.  Looking closely, I realized it was a coffee bean.  Now, obviously my motherly duty compelled me to tell her not to put anything up her nose.  But I knew this wasn't my forte, if you will, so I took Jo's hand and walked her upstairs.  I led her into the office, where Paul was reading his magazine. 
"I would like you to tell your daughter a story," I requested.  "One about putting objects up your nose."
I walked away and let Paul take over.  This is one subject Paul has experience with, and he dealt with it in all seriousness.  He told Jo about his own experience, putting a raisen up his nose when he was about 4 or 5.  Well, the raisen expanded, and Paul ended up in the ER to get it removed.
"It was VERY ouchy," Paul explained.
"VERY?" Jocey asked, uncertain.
"Yes.  You don't EVER want to put anything up your nose, trust me," Paul replied.
Meanwhile, I was in the living room, trying not to giggle.  Don't get me wrong, I realize that it really is a  serious topic, but I was very amused with Paul's story.  If he only knew that when he was a father, his experience would be relayed to another curious little one who was wondering what would happen if this little object goes up my nose...

A hard job?

Some people have asked me how I do my job.  Is it depressing?  Is it hard to watch so many pets die?  How do you do it?  To be honest I am pretty good at looking past the sadness, and realizing that this is a job that needs to be done.  Someone has to be there to help pet owners make the decision to say good bye, and I get to be the one to tie up the loose ends.  Yeah, it sucks sometimes.  Last week I came in and after only an hour I had seen three euthanasias.  Some days are just like that. Other days I get to say hello to energetic puppies with smiling owners that are looking forward to a bright future for their pet. There is an end to every beginning I guess.

I will say that when it comes time for my pets' time to go, that I hope it happens without a struggle; a peaceful ending.  That's what I really have a hard time with- when an owner comes in with a sick pet, does everything they can to help us help them, but to no avail.  Part of it is a financial burden of course- it is awful to spend $2000 trying to get your loved cat or dog back to feeling good without result.  But the emotional toll is worse.  Tonight my shift ended with two such cases.  Right before these two sad endings, I watched a family say good bye to a 12 year old lab with teary eyes.  Tonight I was definitely wiping my own eyes discreetly.

The positive of all of this is that every time I come home from a shift at the hospital, I hug my three babies tightly and am grateful for their good health.  Tinkerbell, Griffin and Faiga won't always be around, and I am going to enjoy every day I get to spend with them. 

Career

Quick update on the career front...

I have been at the veterinary hospital for three months now.  I am finding my groove, and seem to be getting along with most everyone.  I am learning a lot about wellness care for kitties and doggies, and have seen some pretty ugly emergency cases too.  My hours seem to be all over- I work regular day shifts, late shifts, and an early shift here and there. 

While I am grateful for the paycheck, I am hoping that this is not long term.  Not that I dislike my job, but I would be happier at the zoo.  On that front- I have been volunteering as a keeper assistant for awhile now.  My area includes mongoose, dik-dik, porcupine, cranes, bears, coatis and various sheep.  I do some cleaning in the barn and then help with diets.  There isn't any animal contact, though I do get to converse with the mongoose while I am in that barn. 

Denver just recently opened a position for a Large Mammal Keeper.  I have updated my resume and submitted my application.  I contacted my peeps at Cameron Park Zoo, who have agreed to send letters of rec on my behalf.  I am hoping that the keepers I have met so far might say a word to the curator.  They don't know me very well yet, but it certainly wouldn't hurt. 

In the meantime, I will just keep plugging away.  I will go to work with a smile on my face, because my goal is still within reach, and as they say- good things come to those who wait!!

Maggie